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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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What the hell does “making love until we drown” mean anyway!

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There was a song, a rather popular song, that came out in 1990. It was called I Wanna Sex You Up by a band called Color me Badd.  I had just started 7th grade and all I wanted to do was Sex a girl up. I had no idea what the hell it meant and am pretty sure I lost street cred using that line to chicks. 

I am 42 and still have no clue what the hell it means to Sex someone up. Googling it lead me to 

To make more interesting and enticing

Hmm. I think I should sex this project up at work so I can get some traction.  Nope that wont work. I will keep that one to myself. I am almost certain I heard RuPaul say this before.

Another google search led me to urban dictionary which i am pretty sure is why the Web was originally invented.  It reads:

What a dominant sex partner says to the other right before they have sex. Kind of like beating someone up, except this is sexing someone up.

Do people really talk like this? Is this real life?

After Color Me Badd sexes the shit out of their Partners, they then “make love until they drown”. Another phrase that has me and the Internet baffled. 

Are they having sex by a pool and then fall in? Are they in the shower and are so into being sexed up that they literally drown? Is there some kinda strange peeing and squirting action going on on this crazy bedroom that eventually causes them to drown? WHO DROWNS WHILE MAKING LOVE!??



Somewhere in the song another crazy line is sung “We can do it till we both wake up”. Ok now thats just fucked up. I am not sure what drugs Color Me Badd were on but thats some Inception shit right there. 



Tonight, when i get into bed later with my Wife I am going to sing her a little Color Me Badd, get her all sexed up, and do her until we both wake up hoping we dont drown along the way cause man that will suck in the morning when the kids find us. 

Scholars will analyze these lyrics for years to come. Until then, I think we should all just agree to blame it on the rain —- Wait WHAT!?

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