The other day I watched my 2 kids walking around the house up to no good. The older Child screamed “CUT”. She held her iPad like a camera as the younger Child would make strange noises. This continued pretty much all day long. It was “Mindful Monday” which means the Children are to pick a “mindful” activity and work on it all day long. In other words, they have no school on Mondays.
Throughout the day, I can see my older Daughter starting to get a little irritated and stressed saying things like “The lighting is not right” or “Focus Ellie” or “Cut. Cut. Cut.” I believe I even heard her say “back to the drawing board”. Apparently, the older Child decided to make her first feature film with her sister in the starring role.
After lots of back and forth with editing, our older Daughter was ready to show her first film. We all sat on the couch in preparation.
It starts...
“A Ava and Ellie film” shows real big on the screen. Part of me is SuperDad proud of her creativity and as a Dad for introducing her to it. Ava meet your creative side. Now do shit. Oh she done it.
The other part of me is mad because it’s grammatically incorrect. Then I realize half my blogs are grammatically incorrect. Dam she’s just like her Daddy.
We cut immediately to the first scene. Its my younger Daughter Ellie dressed up in her cat Halloween costume. She’s purring and crawling all over the floor. Confusion sets in. What the hell is going on? Is this a snuff film??
This continues for 3 minutes. There are shots of her crawling all over the floor. One scene she is cleaning herself by spitting on her hand and running it through her “hair” all while purring and meowing every 5 seconds. Another scene she is rolling all around her bed purring while playing with a toy in her mouth. Is this what happens when my Children are upstairs alone?? Did I do something wrong as a Dad?
About 3 minutes in, the Director gets a bit creative by following the Cat-Child crawl to the bathroom. For 47 seconds we see a shot of the closed bathroom door while behind it we hear cat meows and strange noises going into the toilet. Is this real life? Why are there no giggles from the Children? Either they are amazing actors or my Kids need to see a psychiatrist.
We then get to see, I must say, a rather clever one shot in darkness to her coming out of the bathroom and crawling into her room again where she plays with another toy. Her purring continues harmoniously with her meows. Its actually quite beautiful and I forget for a second I am watching my youngest Child
We end with the Cat-Child going back to the bathroom. I start to think my Cat-Child has diabetes with all the shit “its” been eating and drinking since Quarantine. More strange noises come from behind the door and then a cut to an end credit.
Will my Cat/Child grow up to be one of those weirdos who dress up as cats?? My mind starts to race with thousand mile per hour thoughts.
We all stare at each other wondering if that really just happened. The Director stands there proudly in the middle of the room as the Cat-Child / actor / my existing youngest daughter still in costume joins her. They bow together. We clap.
Is this how actors and directors get their start? Or are these the first signs of a psychopath. Only time will tell.
Help us to whomever above is playing this experimental game with us. Enough already!! You win!
Godspeed
Comments
Post a Comment