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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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The powers of the beard

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I am on Day 80 of Beard growth. I have not trimmed or touched it. To me its beautiful. To others its an abomination.  A horror show. A freaking detriment to society. To my Wife I believe she has already moved on and found an online man that she dates on Zoom named Santiago. 

 As bad as it looks, there are some new powers that I now possess that I believe the Beard, or should I say Kip, which is what I named him, is responsible for. 

 Since I have grown Kip I have built 2 loft beds for the kids, rearranged the house and turned it into a classroom, created a makeshift gym in my garage and driveway, put in a new storm door and fixed our muthf*cking ice maker by replacing that bish with a new one.  For those who know me, this is like something the Lord has struck down upon thee as I am not one to use a screwdriver. Thank you Kip. 

 I believe my voice has actually gotten a bit deeper and less raspy. I used to have this sorta cracking in my voice that either sounded like I was transitioning or going through puberty - take your pick. But I am certain Kip has erased that. 

 I am not one to brag about my handsomeness. I mean come on. You know it. I know it.  But with Kip,  I know I have gone from an 8 (maybe a 9) to a 5 and I am ok with this. I now understand how the common people live with normal / common looking features. Its kinda cool to feel a part of normal society. 

 I have also changed my fancy Bonobos style to a more rugged look. Kip demands reverse flag patched hats and leisure wear like Under Armor and Go Ruck as I do my mountain man workouts in my driveway with my bad ass beard that drips sweat that does not seem to ever dry. Beer is good for the liver, my shirt says. 

 My hair has also adjusted to Kip. It has moved from a high fade side part to now being inches away from a man bun with an undercut. Kip wants it this way. 

 I have learned how to eat and drink. Sorta. Its still a challenge but I will understand the ways of the Beard Force. I have subscribed to numerous beard YouTube channels and have studied the ways of the Beard Jedis.

 Even though it may look like pubic hair and spiders have attacked my face and are battling it out for home court, I will not shave. Not yet. We still have a Wave 2 of COVID-19 to most likely come in a few months. By then I will look like ZZ Top.  As the Beard experts say “Let it grow. You will be surprised with the results”. We are all surprised. 
Dude on the right is so lame
Please pray for my Wife. 

 Godspeed

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