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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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Pupa and The Butterfly Effect

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On Day 74 of Quaratine Life and Homeschooling, the youngest child learned all about Caterpillars and their transformation into beautiful Butterflies. 

During this lesson I learned that I am the worst Teacher ever and maybe even a 7yr old trapped in a 40 something year old body. One that should not be attempting to grow hair on my face, or whatever you call this attempt at manliness. 

Heres what happened.. 

Our little Kindergartner had to listen to a story about the metamorphosis of a Butterfly. When she was done she had to do a quiz. This is where the fun started. 

The first question asked something about the Caterpillar's first stage of transitioning. Immediately my Daughter starts cracking up as she reads the choices. Here I am thinking that she is so smart and is laughing at how dumb the other choices are and clearly picking the most obvious.  A+ 

No. Instead the Child proceeds to read and show me one of the answers as she is losing her mind laughing. It says:

"The Caterpillar turns into a pupa"

To a 7yr old this is interpreted as a Caterpillar turning into a poopy. I too just lol'd as I typed that. I also really laughed out loud (lol) when she showed it to me and continued to LOL for many minutes later. 

So there we are, Dad and Daughter sharing an immature giggle on the English language's behalf. A true Parent/Teacher/Principle/Daughter/Student bond.  My Wife grimaces and stares at me. 

"Really Danny" she mind speaks to me. 

"What!? Its hysterical.  Puuupppppaaaaaa.  Get it? I gotta take a pupa" I mind speak back. 

"Shave your f&*kin beard" she mind speaks back. 

"It even looks like a poopy!  Oh, whateevvssss Mrs Bart. Get a grip you pupa head!!"



We ended the lesson with what happens when real pupa gets flushed down the toilet. Actually that was our bedtime story. I believe my name was the pupa -- at least in Mrs Bart's version of the story. 

In reality, this experiment of parent teaching should be called the pupa stage. We as parents are transitioning in many ways. Me as a metrosexual now turned hipster / man with a beard. My Wife from doing everything to still doing everything but now including teaching.  And my kids who will turn from semi-smart to idiots as this experiment continues. The Butterfly Effect of this experiment will be a very interesting Earth in 30yrs when these kids are running shit. We can blame the pupa out of covid-19. 

Can we Parents just morph into Butterflies and fly away?! 

Godspeed

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