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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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My Wife and Space X

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Yesterday’s Space X launch to space was a remarkable experience to witness on TV.  We watched it live with the Kids. Every second I had to think of something or someway to explain to the kids if God forbid something went wrong. Luckily it didnt. I can now save that stress for the explanation of Santa Claus or where babies come from and the real reason for pps.

 The Kids were pretty interested and excited to watch the Space X launch.  I too was really interested But it was my Wife who really lost her mind. She was like Jim Carry in Dumb and Dumber: WE LANDED ON THE MOON! All day long she was talking about it. And while it happened she was like a young Ellie from Contact staring at the stars aka the Internet for answers. So enthralled by this entire experience that I found her this morning quietly in the Dining Room alone watching Live NASA video of Space X getting ready to for its docking to the International Space Station.  Either that or it was Porn and she quickly had that on a side window in case I walked in. Not sure. Did she even sleep last night?


Then I think I figured out why: my Wife is planning her exit. By living vicariously through these lucky Astronauts, she too can experience a World far far away from COVID-19, washing floors, yelling at kids, trying to understand and teach fractions, sanitizing and washing hands every hour, worrying about why someone is sneezing, staring at her Husband’s beard and wondering if beard lice lives in it, constantly arguing with the Children that food crumbs do  not pick itself and throw themselves in the garage, receiving group texts from our kids that they are hungry when they are sitting next to us, and that Husband who is slowly turning into a mountain man. This is her exit.

 These Astronauts get to live their lives for the next 6 months as we regular Humans get to stay on Earth and suffer homeschooling and quarantine living. These MoFos could not have picked a better time. And my Wife looks above to the skies saying “take me with you”.

 Her dream may come true until she ends up in a wormhole only to get an alien version of me and the Kids greeting her with open arms, text books in each hands, and our laptops saying “Teacher! You’ve come home!”

 Pray for me

 Godspeed

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