Quarantine Day 26: Ya know, when i was your age..

Today is Friday. Good Friday. Good for kids who are off from school. And for the first time ever, good for Parents as this also means that Homeschool is closed. Excitement filled our homes until about 9am when the Parents realized they still had to do their real work AND the kids are home from “school”. Not good. Crying, fighting, hissing and stomping still prevailed. Just another day in Quarantine aka the New World - my new term for this new world we live in. 

In the New World, kids have it made. They have thousands of technological possibilities to keep them satisfied for years to come. Yet, today the younger Child told me she was bored. I thought I heard a record player scratch somewhere in the distance after she said these words to me. And then I followed up that record scratch saying something that I am not sure I have said in 7yrs of being a father.

“Bored? Ellie, do you know what we had when we were your age. Nothing!” I can almost hear my Father’s voice coming out of my mouth. 

Ellie pouts and walks away, jumps on the couch and continues to sort through thousands of TV shows  and movies through Netflix, Amazon, Disney +, Apple TV + and YouTube TV on our 55inch television with her mini iPad next to her as her friends message her asking her to FaceTime as her older Sister is looming with thousands of rubber bands and strings to make all kind of crazy necklaces and bracelets for a dance, dinner and movie party later.  Yet, somehow she is bored.

I wanted to yell:

Ya know. When I was your age I had 26 channels!  26!!!!  And I had a big clunky box with buttons that I had to push to see it on a small square TV that can make your hair stand with all the static that came off the screen. And we only had HBO to watch movies. That’s IT!! And occasionally we would see half a boob if we pushed down 1, 3 and 5 on the cable box at the same time.

I continue my mind yell:

We had like 3 toys that we played with and that did not include video games. This was only at Tommy’s house around the corner, which I had to call with a real phone and get permission to go to his house to play Nintendo and it was only like 1 time a week, maybe!  And the toys that we did have usually required batteries which we didnt have and so we would make believe the toy worked and we made the best of it. Sometimes, we would read... just for fun!  And other times, we would actually have to pick the phone up and use it to talk to people and call Friends to make plans to play Nintendo. And not use it to play cops and robbers. And when we went to the movies, there was only 3 movies to choose from. And usually those movies were the same movies that were in the theaters for months and you already saw it 3 times. We were not able to simply press a button to order a movie like Trolls 2 which we are doing tonight as we prepare for our movie party! How are you bored??

My mind rant continues:

And when other movies were on HBO besides Splash, Jewel of the Nile, One of the Guys, Overboard, The Hitcher, Footloose, and the Neverending Story, we had VHS tapes to watch that was equivalent to watching pixelated Netflix movies when the internet is slow. And sometimes we had to rent a new VCR when ours broke. 

Pick up a magazine and read about the Cold War.  Do a crossword puzzle or word search.  How are you bored?

My mind yell at Ellie stops when my Wife walks in. She looks at me as if I have been MIA living on the streets for the last 7 months and have now returned this morning. My face is all hairy and my hair looks like Encino Man. 

I mind talk to her “Would you believe Ellie is bored??”

She mind talks back “I got this. Watch this.  Btw God your sexy. That beard goes so well with that beautiful flowing head of hair you have. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Since school is closed, perhaps we can make it to the Teachers Lounge for some reprimanding of my teaching style?”

I am pretty sure she said most of that. 

She walks away and says to the Kids “Hey Kids, I have a plan for today. Let’s bake Italian and Easter bread, color Easter Eggs, have dance party, play dress up, paint our nails, have a tea party, prep the Bart Cave, ya know the one that Daddy clearly came out of, for movie night, then go for a nice walk. What do you say?”  Mommy for the win.. again. 

Screams of joy are heard. I grab my coffee and walk upstairs to my “office” as laughter and love is being heard from below. 5 minutes later, screaming and crying is heard. I smile as I drink my coffee.  

She never came to the Teachers Lounge.  Dammit. So much for Good Friday.

Godspeed.