Quarantine Day 25: Today we had a special guest for Music class

Day 25 of The New World

Today we had Music class. The lesson was to watch a video and then answer questions. I lended a helping hand when the older Child was huffing and puffing and “not getting it”.  I realized that the video she was watching is a famous cartoon called Peter and the Wolf and narrated by David Bowie. 

I proceeded to explain to the older Child who David Bowie was. Told her about Ziggy Stardust and the spiders from Mars. Then realized I scared the shit out of her.  Now she probably thinks that Dad also dresses up as a woman and paints his hair and face singing about other planets when he is upstairs “working”. And those spiders from Mars is what is actually growing out of his face. 

The exercise was to really teach the feeling you get from each sound being represented in the Cartoon. She is 7. She didnt get it. The only feeling she had was hunger. And boredom of Daddy and his teaching style. Oh and fear of David Bowie and Daddy’s spider beard. 

After arguing about how David Bowie’s impact on society is far more greater than Ariana Grande, we moved on to the final exercise which was to name the family of the instruments that were portrayed in the cartoon. The Child had no clue. Neither did I. 

“Did you ever learn what woodwinds and brass are?”, I ask her make believing I know what family these instruments belong to. 

“Nooo..” She whines. Then I whine.

I mind talk to Rose...

 “You know what family these belong to?”

“No! I thought you did” she mind speaks to me back. “What good are you for!! I am starting to wonder what family you belong to!” is what it sounded like she mind spoke to me. The jury is still not clear on this one.

“David Bowie probably didnt know what family his instruments were from expect Gibson and Fender”, I mind joke with her. She doesn’t get it. “Ok, anything that is brass belongs to Brass right? What about things you blow into? Is that a woodwind? What about a skin flute?” I mind-snicker at her with my attempt at making Teacher Lounge jokes. Nothing.

“Well it would have been nice if someone provided material to teach you about instruments!” I cry out loud.  I look up at whoever is above us asking for forgiveness.. and a Teachers manual. 

Mrs Bart looks at me with the same look she’s been giving me since week 2 of beard growth and says “Here Ava. This is a chart I found on Google. I just printed it out. Go get it and use that to do your exercise. Make sure you keep it in your folder and be sure to look over it every now and then to remember it.”

Mrs Bart looks at me and then looks away like the airport check-in officer from Meet the Parents. I wonder if David Bowie ever got looks like this from his wife Iman. Did he ever grow a beard when he dressed as a woman?  I slowly start to ponder my man bun and beard journey and where it is taken me. I snap out of it when the Child comes back with the paper and in 5 seconds figures it out with Mrs. Bart. Mrs Bart smiles proudly.  Mr Bart goes back to his Principle office. 

Class ended with the usual yelling and crying, some prayers from my Wife, and the entire neighborhood outside walking around not listening or social distancing.

Major Tom to ground to control:  When will I be able to get out of my house and get back to civilization?

Ground Control: “They” will let us know. 

They are assholes

Godspeed