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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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Quarantine Day 21: Danny The Pastaio

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I have moved closer to being Amish as today I made my first pasta after buying a pasta maker on Amazon earlier this week. Yesterday Rose made bread. Today I made pasta. Tomorrow we will have diabetes. 

I decided to buy the Atlas Marcato pasta maker that does not have a motor but has a manual crank that can be used to build forearm muscles and make you curse a little more and louder when the crank falls off or the clamp does not attach to your table. After lots of swearing and sweating, I finally figured the dam thing out and the end result was satisfying. Magnificque! C’est si Bon!



During dinner, we begged the younger Child to eat a meatball because she is 6 and she never had one before. Clearly she has an eating problem and eating is not one of them. This turned into a 30 minute crying festival. You would think we were asking the Child to eat raw spinach or carrots. Who the hell does not want to try a meatball. When she finally did it was like she was 8 months old again spitting out corn and broccoli Gerber “food”. 

We should started off with this before “graduating” to meatballs:



I had some leftover homemade pasta. I realize I made the fettuccini too long and thought I can use it to whip people if they get too close to me. Then I thought I can pasta whip the kids when they act up in class but then I remembered that its not the 50s and I am not a Nun — or at least not yet (thats another Coronavirus bucket list)

Its Day 20 of quarantine but its also Day 10 of my Wife giving me the stink eye when I approach her with what I’d like to call a beard on my face. I would love to look through her google results. They would say things like:
  • How to shave ones face when they are sleeping?
  • Where does Santiago from the Kids Raz Spanish App live?
  • How does one kiss someone with spiders coming out of their upper and lower lips?
  • Is it possible to get bedbugs in a beard? 
  • How much money will I need to save to runaway to Fiji?
  • Is Adam Levine still single? 
  • How to make pasta the “right” way?
  • Is it normal to have odor come from someone’s beard?
  • Signs the human man is going insane?
  • Does anyone read the Bart Chronicles?
  • How to get a child to eat a meatball?
  • How to teach a Child fractions?
  • How many glasses of wine a day is considered alcoholism?
  • What to do if my Husband grows a man bun?

Godspeed

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