I think we weekended too hard as the Kids took a step backwards in the Bart Classroom. Perhaps it was the long drive to our BFFs sons drive-by Bday yesterday or the extra movie we watched on the day formerly known as Saturday. Who knows. But the kids were not on their A game resulting in detention and lots of yelling. Really makes me wish it was the 2 days formerly known as the Weekend again. Then again, maybe not as the weekends now last for 2 weeks in this new strange world we are living in.
Drive-Bys used to look like this:
And now its:
I have come to the conclusion that the Sun is in quarantine as well as it has not been out in 3 days. Its bad enough to be in lockdown with kids, but not being able to see sunlight is really starting to make me feel like Prison. I bought a harmonica on Amazon so that I can play the blues as I sit on the floor of my cell counting down the hours until the weekend is over - 967hrs .. almost there.
I also noticed that a man named Trent Reznor called this strange phenomenon now known as life when he wrote a song in 2005 called Everyday is Exactly the Same which is now the song of 2020. I have been humming this for days and now I know why. He and Silvia Browne are going to be fighting for World’s Greatest Psychic Stating Generic Basic Statements. 2020 The Year We Make Contact, 2001s not so good sequel, is soooo properly named!
There will be 2 groups of people that will come out of this alive. The first group will be lean and muscular. Aware of their surroundings. Eager to move on with life. Motivated to start anew. They will be super healthy feeding on nuts and proteins and being super resourceful as they source foods in easy to find ways and use what is truly needed. They have been working out and exercising everyday and have taken the opportunity to experience the outside world such as walking, biking, laughing and frolicking under the gray sky.
The second group will be obese, sluggish, tired and lazy. This is the group that has been hoarding anything they can get their hands on. They have been eating gourmet meals while complaining about the world yet posting funny memes for the first group to survive. They care so much about this pandemic that all they do is talk about it in large gatherings with neighbors and family members totally not practicing social distancing. Then goto Facebook and other social media outlets to complain about those very same people they are. Most of this group will die of heart attacks, liver disease and diabetes 2 months into quarantine as they continue to eat steak 6 times a day.
But both groups will have the same cosmetic features — big bushy eyebrows, giant man buns, facial hair and/or bushy beards, body odor and hairy legs. Man and woman will become one as we will become unidentifiable as Barbers and Salon shops will have all dried up due to the quarantine. We will all look the same and smile under a Sun that is afraid to come out and play. We are recycling caveman times.
And as I type my Doomsday predictions like Trent Reznor and Sylvia Browne, I can already tell you its happening. Last night I watched Toy Story 4 and cried at the end. What is happening to me?! Where is the Sun and why do I suddenly have a hatred for Little Bo Peep!
Godspeed
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