The Apocalypse: Its come down to virtual hide and go seek

Today is Saturday. I woke up feeling like its Saturday! But then I remembered, oh yeah COV, and Saturday is basically Monday without school and there is nothing we can do but sit in our homes getting punished by our children for all the bad things we did in life. The only good thing is teachers, Mr & Mrs Bart, are out from school for the next 2 days. I was thinking Saturday detention will have to start next week for when the kids are bad but now I realize Mr & Mrs Bart are already in detention.  Where did I go wrong in in life?

Our morning started with an extra hour of sleep only to come down to the kids in the same spot they were yesterday before bed: in front of the TV. After a couple hrs of TV time, it was then a couple hours of whining and whimping as the TV was in time out for a couple hours. 

Around noon, virtual play dates started. I cant believe i am actually typing this but my kids were playing hide and go seek with their friends on their iPads via FaceTime.  Not sure how one can ever find the other. How would this ever work? Is this even possible! Is virtual manhunt next? Does one simply move over to the side of the camera and “hide”?

I would like to state my kids are Polish and stereotypically Pols are known to do things like play hide and go seek virtually with others on their iPads. Hey kids, perhaps you can play a real hide and go seek game for a few hours so that Mommy and Daddy can have some alone time. 

We then went outside with our Purells and went for our daily walk. Its amazing that half the world is outside when in a non COV world, everyone is in their house. Its like bizarro world. Kids are actually playing outside. Parents are actually paying attention to their kids. Kids are playing hide and seek on their iPads.  And we are staying at least 6 feet away - unless you live in my neighborhood. We went into shock when someone attempted to come near us for conversation. I had my Lysol ready to spray away if he got closer. BACK OFFF!!! GET AWAYYYYYY FROM USS!! I think i may have hissed at him. The world has gone mad.

Speaking of mad, what is up with the fake news. Yesterday I got 4 texts from different people telling me that they know somebody that works in the government and to keep it quiet but Martial Law will start {insert date/time} and to be prepared. Its called Stafford Law or some shit. Then telling me to send this to everyone i care about. I am like, didnt you just tell me to keep it a secret.  The texts were spaced out in the same manner with the same style writing. I wrote back and said leave me alone. I am playing hide and go seek with my buddy from Cleveland on my iPad. 

Another major accomplishment, we did our first Target pickup. That was interesting. Some dude came out in a mask and a cart of goods, went to the car next to us first and filled their car. Then to us. I showed him my phone with the barcode and he scanned. He then handed me his phone device thing that i had to sign for — with my finger.  In that instant I saw hazmat suits approaching my home and a large plastic tarp covering our home like in ET. 4 beds that we are all laying in grumbling I love yous as hazmat people look over us. I wake up as the masked bearded man is staring at me waiting for me to hand back his death device.  I give it back and smile. Thank you, I say..for COV. I purell the hell out of my hands as my wife stares at me as if she will never ever touch me for the rest of our lives. 

And as I type, the entire neighborhood still continues to congregate and live life to the fullest laughing and smiling walking by our home. Ayuadame!

Tomorrow is Sunday!  Can’t wait to do the same thing we did all week all over again!  Yeeaahhhhhh

Godspeed