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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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The Apocalypse: Can I buy livestock on Amazon???

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Everyday is everyday and everyday is tomorrow and tomorrow is yesterday and yesterday is today — its all the same day — Today. Groundhog Day. 

 Today I came to the realization that homeschooling may last forever. We will be stuck living together in 1 house for the rest of our lives and never be allowed to leave our homes. The kids will grow to be dummies and have virtual spouses, or maybe even robot spouses. Someone will create baby kits that you can “make at home” and Mommy and Daddy will now be Grandparents watching over 15 children and homeschooling them as well, hosting Zoom parties so that the robot Spouse can see its kids. I’m getting dizzy thinking of this future world. 

 To combat this, I am taking matters into my own hands..

 I am thinking of buying a bread maker so then I can make all the bread I want and then throw it at my computer screen when online groceries tell me no bread is in stock. Wait, but then I need to get yeast. Can I make my own? {vomit} 

 I can buy a real live chicken and have it lay eggs. Then I can throw them at people as they get too close to my house and hiss at them. BACK OFF OR I WILL THROW IT! Extra protein AND protection. 2 for 1. 

Or better yet just buy a cow for unlimited milk supply. I can eventually have an abundance of meat and even make a leather coat for survival — but then i would have to kill the cow. I just teared thinking about it. 

 Can we buy live animals on Amazon? Or Instacart? Do I need a permit to start a farm? Does my townhome development allow this? So many questions.. 

 Today in the Bart Classroom, we have started to designate roles and dressing up the classroom. We should be completed tomorrow with rules and a behavior chart. If this shit is going to last the rest of my life, I need to take this shit serious. I am debating on buying a Homeschool for Dummies book or a How to Pretend to be a Teacher for Dummies book. Whichever is cheaper. Money is tight. 

 Teachers, please help us.  This is a desperate cry. We love you and need you back.  I can make you bread. Even yeast if you need it! If Amazon sells livestock, I can offer free eggs and unlimited supply of milk.  I will even make you a leather bracelet that says #1 Virtual Teacher! (assuming I can kill my cow and then be able to buy another one for a discount) Yesterday my wife stockpiled on “paper towels”.  But when the shipment came it was 2 giant boxes of the paper towels one would find in an automated paper drying machine thing in a public bathroom.  Take it. Its better than nothing. I will project manage your Zoom parties if needed. I will grade your virtual homework. Please come back! Principle Danny Bart needs your help. 

 In the meantime, I am checking on Amazon for livestock. Oh, well look at that!  Honeeeeeyyyyy...I’m buying a chicken!!!!! 

 https://www.amazon.com/6-Fertile-Hatching-Chicken-Eggs/dp/B00WSAFGCM/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Live+chicken&qid=1585255882&sr=8-1

 Godspeed

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