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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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The “2 cherries and a big stem” pic

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It is commonplace for our children to have to use the bathroom 37 times in a 3hr period the moment their skin touches the outside air. It doesn’t matter where we are, they will have to use the bathroom at least 3 times. And of course, if one has to go so does the other. My wife is the one to usually take the both of them while I sit alone and play on my phone. 

 Recently, the youngest child went to a Dunkin Donuts with my wife to pick up munchkins for my oldest daughter and her team who was playing in her last soccer game. Her awesome Dad, aka me, was in the stands screaming at the Ref and the other little 7 and 8 year olds who wont pass the dam ball! 

 Somewhere between conversations about property taxes with fellow towns folk in the stands and mumbling under my breath to the coach about letting my kid play longer, my wife arrived back with her beautiful self and box of munchkins. She wore a smile on her face that said I got a fascinating story about Ellie’s wonderful bathroom observation to tell you.

 She began..

 While going PP (where does that word come from btw), Ellie says to my wife in complete innocence, “Mommy, look at that picture. They drew 2 cherries on a big stick. And they spray painted it in purple.”

 Rose looks down under the sink and turns a bit red as she stares at a beautiful rendition of purple cherries displaying proudly on one of the sink pipes. 

 “Look Mommy. They messed up. Why did they draw such a long stem!”

 “You are right Ellie. They did mess up. I don’t know why someone would draw that. It is not nice to draw on other’s property. We should never do this.”, my wife tries to discipline the offender who clearly has poor judgment in his decisions as an artist. 

 “But Mommmmmyyyyy, why is the stem so long”, little Ellie searching for life’s greatest mystery.

 “I dont know Ellie. I think they are still learning how to draw. Hey did you have fun at your soccer game today?”.  Rosie clearly tries to change the subject yet ponders, why is the stem sooo long? 

 And just prior to this blog, I did ask my daughter about that wonderful drawing and she did explain that there were 2 cherries on a long stem — I believe pole was the first way she put it. 

 Of course my wife took a pic. 

I am sooo not ready for this. 

 But for the record, that is so not a long stem!  Just sayin.. 

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