The other day my almost 4 year old, Ava, strapped herself in her carseat for the first
time yesterday all by herself. Not only
did she do this but just prior she opened the car door to get in all by
herself. Then closed the door and got in
her car seat all by herself and eventually put on her seatbelt all by
herself. All of this done for the first
time – yes all by herself – and she could not be happier!
And while all this was happening, I was putting my 2.5 year
old daughter, Ellie, in her car seat who
suddenly decided she was a big girl and clicked in her top restraint of her car
seat buckle – you guessed it, all by herself – and she could not be happier!
Prior to all this, Ava learned to get in and out of her “big
girl” bed, put on her clothes, brush her teeth, get the bath ready and get in, goto the bathroom, get herself water and drink
from a “big girl” cup with ease, and basically feed herself – all by herself
– and she could not be happier.
And Ellie is now pooping on the potty – all by herself – and
also has a “big girl” bed and she too cannot be happier!
And not too far away, Ava will be going to school and making
friends. She will start to multiply and
learn to solve math problems. She will
begin to learn to deal with mean girls or become one herself. She will
understand that the world is a big place and not just a small house with a few
rooms that consist of only Mom and Dad.
And she will be so happy to learn all this – all by herself!
Not long after, she will suddenly have an interest in boys
and learn all about life’s greatest mystery: Love. And she will do this all by herself. Suddenly, she will realize that the world is
not just about the friends you make or the jokes you share or the chores that
Mom and Dad make you do, but instead, its about whatever you make it – and she
will do this and love it all by herself!
Within a blink, Ava is now eager to learn about
adulthood. She knows that she is not a
child anymore and wants to do everything and anything all by herself and will
push anybody away that challenges her.
She will suddenly yearn and love her body changing into a young woman –
physically and mentally. This change will
bring a whole new question about life and she will find out in her own way on
how to solve it – all by herself.
Suddenly, she is in High School and realizes that making
friends and keeping them is harder.
Simple tasks like turning on a light switch and being happy about it is
not as easy as it once was when she was 3. Ava will question things that make her
happy and challenge the way she sees life.
And as this process is happening her little sister will follow her
footsteps 1.5 years behind. Both will
learn that the world does not come with instructions and that the things Mom
and Dad tried to teach, like how to
strap in a car seat or tie your shoes, was actually the best times
of their lives. For now, life is
hard. Suddenly, those simple math
problems are much harder and mean something. Suddenly, there is pressure to get
good grades, get a job, make money, get a car.
Suddenly there is something called responsibility. The world that was only Mom and Dad now seems
to be swallowed up by this new reality called life. Suddenly, the world seems so much smaller and
not so big and full of wonderful surprises as it once was when Ava was strapping
herself in her car seat. Suddenly, becoming an adult is not as exciting and
thrilling as it was when she was 3. She
will realize this and figure it out – all by herself.
Ava, along with her sister, will get through the tough times
and learn to deal with life’s problems. Now they are both married with children and
teaching the same things their Mom and Dad taught them. Now they both realize the stress and
heartache that they put on their parents.
Now they realize all the stuff that drove their parents crazy and now
understand why they would yell for the smallest and silliest things. They will both realize why Mommy had to go to
work and why Daddy had to travel to Germany so much. They will understand why bedtime means
bedtime and not silly-let’s-play time.
They will now understand why they were not allowed to eat candy all day long
and why Dr visits were important. They
will learn and love to appreciate life again through their children’s eyes and
they will learn this all by themselves.
Then one day, Ava’s daughter, opens the car door, gets in
and closes the door, gets in her carseat and straps herself in – all by
herself. And Ava will look at this Child and be happy knowing that she too once
strapped herself in her car seat during a time where the world was so big and
open and anything was possible; when being able to do Adult things meant so
much. And Ava will look down at her
child, whose smiling from ear to ear, and say the only thing that she could say
– even though internally she wants to cry as this child is so innocent
and pure and does not understand the reality of being an Adult – “You did
it!!!! ALL BY YOURSELF!!”.
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