My daughter has now gotten to the age where she needs to know the answers to everything in life. She is constantly questioning everything and anything. About 80% of the time, I dont have a clue how to answer her; simply because I dont know the answer my self. It's at this age I've learned that I am a complete idiot who knows nothing but somehow got by to succeed in life.
Some examples:
Ava: Daddy, why do dogs bark?
My inner thought: Christ on a pony, i have no frikking clue.
Me: Well, that's the way they talk to each other.
Ava: But it always sounds the same. Why?
My inner thought: Thats a good frikking question!
Me: It's not really the same. Doggies hear different than us so they can tell the difference.
Ava: But why?
My inner thought: Google "why do dogs bark when i get home"
Me: Thats a good question. I dont know. (puts head down in shame)
Ava: But why?
My inner thought: Ouch
---
Me: Come on Ava, put on your panties.
Ava: But I don't want to.
Me: Come on. You have to. NOW!
Ava: But why?
My inner thoughts: Because I want you to stay FAR away from the "pole".
Me: Because everyone wears underwear.
Ava: Why?
My inner thoughts: Holy shit. Why do we wear underwear!?
Me: Look at how funny your sister is being. (as i distract her to put on her panties)
---
Ava: Daddy, why do birdies fly?
My inner thought: hmmmmm.. Fck if i know
Me: That's how they get around. We walk. They fly.
Ava: Why do we walk?
My inner thought: That's an honest to God great question.
Me: What sound does a birdie make {changing the subject}
---
Ava: How come you don't go pp on the potty?
My inner thought: Shit
Me: Well, boys and girls go pp differently.
Ava: But why?
My inner thought: Help me Rose.
Me: Well boys and girls are different in this way.
Ava: But why?
My inner thought: I honestly don't have a clue why. God made us this way? Is there a God? I dont frikking know!?
Me: Hey, let's go watch Caillou!!
---
Ava: Daddy, but why do i have to take a nap?
Me: Well, if you don't take a nap then you will be cranky and then we can't play together later on.
Ava: Why will I be cranky if i dont nap?
My inner thought: Thats a dam good question. I dont have a clue why. Your body is tired? But why is it tired? What a bunch of pussies we are as species that we need to take naps to get by in life. Plus, you will be Satan later if you don't.
Me: Come on. Take a nap or the crank monster is gonna get you.
Ava: I dont LIKE the crank monster!!! {starts sobbing}
My inner thought: Shit
Rose: DANNY!!
My inner thought: Sigghhhh
---
Ava: Why are you going to the accountant?
My inner thought: I'm paying a man to help me with my payments to THE MAN. That's a dam good question.
Me: I honestly don't know why.
---
Ava: Daddy don't goto work.
Me: I have to.
Ava: But why?
My inner thoughts: Do I??
Me: So I can put food on the table and give you and the girls a place to sleep.
My inner thoughts: I sooo sound like a dad.
Ava: But why?
Me: Well, we don't want to end up homeless and living on the streets.
Ava: Cool! I want to live on the streets!
My inner thoughts: Shit
---
Ava: Daddy, I want to go on the big girl swings.
Me: No you cannot. Your too small still for those swings.
Ava: But I am a big girl.
My inner thoughts: She is absolutely right.
Me: You just can't now.
Ava: {sobbing}
My inner thoughts: Shit.
---
This process is actually helping me to become smarter and more knowledgeable.
Like, for example, I know all the Disney princesses and their stories.
But why?
Well, I have 2 girls.
But why?
Well, I dont have any boys and they wouldn't like Princesses.
But why?
Because boys like pirates and shit.
But why?
Ok, i am just digging my own hole here. You get the point.
My inner thought: It's 2015! Boys DO play with princesses today! Shut up now before you get yourself in trouble!!
But why?
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