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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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1,137 Steps

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A few nights ago I started a new workout routine in my home:  The Walk-Around-The-Room-With-Your-Baby-At-2AM workout.  It was riveting and exciting and I can feel and see the difference already! 

 So what does this workout entail?  Its simple.  
  1. Get a baby.  The baby must be cranky and not want to sleep. 
  2. Hold the baby in your arms
  3. Walk around the room 
  4. Curse occasionally
  5. Count your steps
  6. Put the baby down (down as in "in her crib, bed, bassinet, the neighbors front porch)
  7. Wait
  8. Pick baby back up after 1 minute due to crying and wanting to be held
  9. pick a god and pray to it
  10. Repeat for 2 hours
BAM.   Its that simple. 

Soon-to-be parents are probably asking "why not just sit down".  No No.  Babies have a special sense that can tell when you have decided to sit down and rest your body after an hour of midnight pacing.  Once their brain recognizes this sense, its back to crying and your screwed for another 2 hours - but thats another blog. 


I didn't start #5 until about an hour into this so I dont have an accurate count.  However, I was able to bang out 1,137 steps at an average of about 1 step per second.  Not too shabby. 

This equates to the following:
  • It takes about 2,000 steps to make a mile
  • 1,137 / 2,000 = .56 or about a half mile
  • I walked about 1 step per second which means that it took me only about 19 minutes to do this.
  • At this rate i burned approximately 100 calories
  • now add the 8lbs in my arm and you got about another 30 calories.  woohooo
I totally burned off 2 of the 4 cookies I had earlier with my older daughter that I had to give her so she would stop being Satan.  Yayyy

To make it even more exciting {said in an over-the-top excited voice} you can even count your sways! :-)  This I didn't do but will be sure to do this the next time. 

So for those with a newborn and want to play along at home; or if your drunk and want to walk around with your beer, the number to beat is 1,137!!   

Good Luck.

Comments

  1. Vinnie Frantantoni9:46 PM

    Welcome to Fatherhood! Just wait until that eight pounder gets his drivers license. You'll be taking more than 1137 steps getting from the court, to the insurance company, to the body shop, and the bank to take out another loan. BUT, always love them and always treat them as that lil' eight pounder you once cradled in your arms.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Dbart10:47 AM

      You can count how many times I call your home in the future telling you Tyler needs to stay away from Ava!

      Delete

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