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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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12 days of Christmas - Day 5: My Christmas List

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Its that time of year again.  A time to make your list and check it twice because some fat man in a little suit is going to find out who is naughty or nice.  If you were like me, this was also the time to request anything and everything you have always wanted EVER.  Of course you knew that Santa would never give you 732 gifts even if you were the best kid on the block but you still hoped for the best.  My thinking was if i asked for everything and anything then i wouldn't get disappointed if Santa was on a tight budget that year.

Because there was no internet and your parents, i mean Santa, did not know anything at all about what toys were in or cool this year, they gave my brother and I the Sears catalog (remember the HUGE catalog books..haha).  We were to circle the gifts we wanted which meant you circled EVERYTHING! Most of the time the catalogue did not contain the cool toys you saw on the commercials of your favorite cartoons but you knew that Santa knew EVERYTHING and that if you wrote it down on your list he would get it for you.  He did not.  But you still hoped for next year! This year I received the greatest gift of all; my daughter Ava.  My life is complete and I'm content...somewhat. Of course there are still some things that are on my christmas list.
My Annual Christmas List:

  • NY Giants Superbowl win - I mean it can happen again right?  Can't be too promising that i am writing this list while watching them get POUNCED ON by Atlanta  :-(
  • Justin Bieber to realize that his voice has changed and he sounds terrible and he should stop singing.  ASAP
  • Yo Gabba Gabba to be removed from the airwaves as it teaches our children that LSD is AWESOME!
  • Immature thoughts removed of where to stick Frosty's nose
  • Jet packs that we were promised 50 years ago
  • the dog that i asked for when i was 5 and continued until my ripe age of 34
  • Kanye West's dress
  • A Red Ryder bb gun so i can shoot the people who post that they want this for Christmas on Facebook
  • One Direction to go in the right direction of breaking up..NOW
  • for my daughter to stop eating EVERYTHING..especially the tv remote controls
  • the Book of Bart to be written and studied for years to come
  • NJ Italians to pronounce things like calamari and manicotti correctly
  • If possible, I'd like Nikki Minaj to return the costumes and makeup and come back to planet Earth
  • Aaron Rogers to remove his creepy moustache
  • Bring back steroids in Major League Baseball.  It made the sport sooo much more exciting.. zzzzz
  • for people to stop getting me confused with Ryan Gosling.  It was cute at first but now its just annoying
  • Lindsay Lohan to get it over with already and do all us taxpayers a favor
  • my wife to stop being sooooooo dam awesome and just be so dam awesome
  • for my daughter to NOT cry just as i sit down and pick up my fork to eat
  • to have a reality show called The Bart's
I hope Santa is good to me this year!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

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