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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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12 Days of Christmas Blogging - Day 6: Sh*tmas List

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It's that time of year again.  A time where everyone seems happy as the year comes to an end and the holiday spirit takes over.  There is great music and tons of Christmas cheer.  Then there is also the ShitMas crap that you have to deal with during the holiday season.  Of course, I have created a list of crap that annoys me during Christmas.  I am sure that you can relate to at least one of these.



Salvation Army Bell Ringers  - All.  Day.  Long.   It doesn't stop.  It's like a chick flick - it just keeps going and going and going.



Reindeer dressed animals - Yuck.  This should be illegal in all states. It was cute a couple years ago but now its just annoying. Please save your poor animal from humiliation.  They may not understand the English language but they know when they look uncool and this is it.



Tinsel - Besides glitter, this is one of the most impossible things to brush off.  Somehow it gets everywhere.  I dont even have tinsel anywhere in my home but yet, sure enough, I will find a small strand of i-dont-know-what-it-is on my floor or clothes.


Eggnog - What is this shit anyway?  Tastes like something that was thrown up with added nutmeg and sugar.  Its god awful yet somehow associated with Christmas.  How does something like this happen?  I'm going to try to start a new tradition this year and mix extra heavy cream, crisco, ketchup and worchester sauce and see if it catches on.


Mall Parking - I actually dont mind going to the mall this time of year.  In fact, its the only time of the year i woud go to the mall.  The worst part is the parking.  One can immediately get low blood sugar and hypertension trying to find a spot.  And while you are looking there are fake santas ringing Christmas bells asking for change for Salvation Army all over the place.  By the time you get in the mall you are already miserable and exhausted.

LED Christmas lights - Let's face it people...they just dont look good!  They are brighter than others and an off white color that looks blue.  Who does that??!
Joe wanted to save money on his electric bill by using LED when replicating the Griswold house. FAILURE

 Steven Singer, Jareds, Kays, Zales, etc - You get the point.  Any jeweler at this time of the year spends millions on advertising.  I can tell you this, i DO hate Steven Singer, I didn't go to Jared's, my kiss to my wife does NOT begin with Kays and I certainly didn't let love shine at the "diamond store" aka Zales.

The Lexus Commercials - The only thing this commercial does is make me hum the Home Alone song all day long.  If its not the Home Alone song they play then it sure does sound just like it.  First, lets face facts.  If my wife woke me up Christmas day and told me to look outside and there in the driveway was a brand new beautiful $65,000 Lexus, I would not smile at her but throw my coffee in her face and call my lawyer.

I would actually respect my wife more if she got me this!

 Happy Holidays - Seriously.  It's Christmas.  Say Merry Christmas.

The Day After Drinkmas - Every year we goto the Franklin Steakhouse to celebrate the season with close friends and family and every year i wake up the next morning unable to walk as there is alcohol instead of blood in my veins.  If there was a day to hate then this would probably be it. DAM YOU DRINKMAS.  If you would like to take part in this wonderful celebration and experience the worst day ever the next day then join us at the Steakhouse on Franklin Ave in Nutley on Dec 23 @ 7.


Merry Chri.. i mean Happy Holidays!!!!!

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