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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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2012 - My Annual Thankful List

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Its that time again. Thanksgiving.  A time to be thankful for so many things.  For one.. we should all be thankful for the Pilgrims coming to good ol America to escape their boring taxed lives and in England and search for religious freedom, meeting the Indians, sharing a dinner with them and then skinning them and their children and the rest of their well being before taking over all of America...to once again be overly taxed.. booooooo.  Well done boys..well done.




This year I'm thankful for so many things.  This year was an important year for my wife and I as we welcomed our first child, a daughter - baby Ava.  So of course I am thankful for her and let's not forget my wife's uterus that played a major role in the whole process.  So thank you Rose's uterus aka Utey...YOU ROCK!
Utey

I'd also like to thank of course my parents because without them dannybart.com wouldnt exist.  Kidding.. but its sorta true.  Thanks Parents you ROCK!

I'd like to thank my brother for doing the right thing and being a huge part of my life this year.  Welcome back bro!! Now for your blog.. hmmm.. needs a little more work.  One day you will be in the ranks of your little bro. Keep blogging!  http://www.livefromthefactoryfloor.com/


I'd like to thank the 25,000 eyes that read over my blog in the last year.  I may not be grammatically the best writer but i enjoy it and its even better if people read it.  So THANKS!

And of course I'd like to thank my wife Rose.  She is my heart and soul and would be shit without her.  Thank you NESS.  you ROCK!

Having gotten the big THANKS out here is my list of what i'm thankful for this year:

Baby wipes, Jesus the sheep, jumparoo, teething rings, Nick Jr, baby play mats, size 2 diapers, mismatched button configurations on onesies, footsie pajamas that are too tight, Ava's smelly feet, Carters, getting shit on and spit up on, cleaning shit on my daughters back, bath time with Daddy (that sounds dirty), Mitt Romney and his folder of women, Hurricane Sandy and making us realize that without power we have no coffee which in turn can make us barbarians, Chris Christie, Desitin, Hostess going out of buisness because who needs to eat that shitty fatty high calorie shit anyways, Justin Bieber breaking up with Selena Gomez and banging models, superstars and pornstars, Al Roker's slug like body, Bane, David Kotowski on Facebook and the use of exclamation points and UPPERCASES!!!!, Bring It On the musical,

 Cindy our couch, Reno our other couch, the Bart Cave, my wonderful expensive selection of scotches snuggled together in my Bart Cave, our Dyson vaccum cleaner, the misspelling of vaccuum, spell check, auto correction on the iphone.. what the DUCK, Starbucks anniversary blend that i am drinking RIGHT NOW, Polish people, johnny #5, 21 Jump Street, The Other Guys, anything 80s, Opie and Anthony, Jimmy Norton, Krank Systems making me a beast and self medicating me, American Horror Story, Dino Dan who is a fraud, our cars - my Honda Civic Vicky and my wife's Honda CRV Civvy, my wifes secret talk - ICWTFYSHLTWEL!, the Rockettes legs, my godlike features, the 22lb turkey cooking in my oven, allrecipes.com, Michael Strahan's gap between his teeth that can end wars, for the first time making this list.. ELI MANNING..but this is more for last year.. , and of course the Eagles for just SUCKING and looking like absoulute idiots when they talk crazy shit and then lose every game..thanks!, winning the spelling b in 5th grade and making it 

 to the second round before losing to the word generos..i mean generous, March of the Wooden Soldiers, hotel showers that i have to duck under to rinse my hair, when someone sends you a group text message and then others reply all including strangers..all. day. long, Kanye West, for Ted from How I Met Your Mother to STILL NOT finding his wife allowing more funny shows, being an in the closet BPM listener, when you post something on facebook and then someone comments with something that has nothing to do with the post, the Magic Bullet and those stupid cups it comes with that spill all over you when you drink from it, Starbucks TERRIBLE drippy lids, the FAST FORWARD button,

hvvg xc cxxcc sdfdsfjldslfjwe- my daughter typing this while sitting on my lap :-(, 

the Mayans totally getting it right, Ray Bans, not getting the iPhone 5, Elmo touching little boys hearts and other things, the CIA dude cheating on his wife and it becoming the biggest scandal since Watergate, the H word aka Hipsters, boat shoes, JCrew, Gilt, Johnsons baby lotion, the word PHENOMENAL, and last not but not least my semen for making shit happen!

HAPPY SLAPSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!!

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