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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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The name "Dad" is soooo played out...

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Dad.  Daddy. Pa. Papa.  Seriously??  Every man in the world that is a father has this name.  Why not change shit up a bit.  Who says i have to be called Dad anyways?? 


There are billions of fathers in the world but why are we called "Dad".. here's why:



Occurs from the 16th c. (or possibly 15th c.), in representations of rustic, humble, or childish speech, in which it may of course have been in use much earlier, though it is not given in the Promptorium or Catholicon, where words of this class occur.
Of the actual origin we have no evidence: but the forms dada, tata, meaning 'father', originating in infantile or childish speech, occur independently in many languages. It has been assumed that our word is taken from Welsh tad, mutated dad, but this is very doubtful; the Welsh is itself merely a word of the same class, which has displaced the original Celtic word for 'father' = Ir. athair.


1. A childish or familiar word for father: originally ranking with mam for mother, but now less typically childish. Cf. daddy.
?a1500 Chester Pl. (Shaks. Soc.) I. 43 Cayme. I will..Speake with my dadde and mam also..Mamme and dadd, reste you well! [Of uncertain date: the MS. is only of 1592. Harl. MS. of 1607 reads (ii. 678) 'sire and dam', (ii. 681) 'father and mother'.]
1553 Wilson Rhet. 31 Bryngyng forthe a faire child unto you..suche a one as shall call you dad with his swete lispyng wordes.
Ok so i have no clue what any of that means.  My take is that the very first baby in existence said DaDaDa so we thought it would be cute to be called Dad?  What a bunch of idiots human beings are!!


Have you ever heard a kid call Dad in a store?  75 other dads turn around and look.  How stupid is this!  Each father should have his own unique name.


So here are some fatherly names i was thinking:


Darth Vader


What's not to love about this name. It certainly has character.  I mean, he is the most bad ass "father" there is!!  Well, i guess if you count Jesus but Darth isnt too far off.  She can call me Darth or Vader for short. I can see it now, shopping at the grocery store with Ava.. "Darth can i have some candy??"  Love it

Dominus


Fresh off of watching Spartacus on Starz, I'm obsessed with the character Batiatus who is known as Dominus to his slaves aka gladiators.  Dominus means master and that is exactly what i will be.  She can shorten it to Dom if she likes which kinda sounds a little like it should be in a rap song.  "Yo Dom, pass me the salt".  I'm the muthafucking Dom BITCH!

Jor-El



Superman's father's name was Jor-El and since Ava will be a little SuperWoman what better name to give myself.  

BAMF



That's right.. Bad Ass MothaFucka.  Obviously i dont want my child to curse so she can call me BAMF for short.  Besides, how do we know D.A.D doesnt stand for something.  It can mean Dial A Dick and the jokes on us all this time. 

Danny



Shit.. my name is Danny.  Everyone calls me Danny.. why can't she!  She can simply say Dan which sounds like Dad.. there you go.  That was simple. 

What do you guys think?  Any suggestions?

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