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What a superbowl party is really like

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This is what real life Superbowl party hosting is like. Tay Tay banter included..  First you prep for the big event by spending hundreds of dollars on food that only half will be eaten. You know this going in yet still tell yourself that the more food the better. This is for 20 people Just prior to the Kickoff , words of Taylor Swift already begin. Kids continue to ask if Taylor will be performing.  Some of the adults will be yelling because they lost the “will she show up for the Superbowl or not” bet. Kickoff starts and you realize that someone named blah blah has already won the Bonus 0-0 payout in your Superbowl box pool that you dropped a hundred on. You say hmmmm and already start having conspiracy theories as its someone who is related to the person running the pool.  End of the 1 st draws near . Its only been an hour since the company has arrived and already the food that was beautifully prepared...
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The Baby Shower and The Butterfly Effect

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Today was our baby shower.  Actually it was my wife's shower for our baby.  That's how i should state it.  Saying "our" shower is a misunderstanding.  The only thing that i was needed for was to drop Rose off at the restaurant, then go back a few hours later to pick all the gifts up, load the car and bring them back to the house.   I think i did the same for our wedding shower.  So yes, maybe "our" shower is the correct way to say it.  Rose was showered with love and gifts and i was showered with sweat and drizzling rain.  Yay me..





Blue and Pink

Its just sooo racist!!!

I came to a realization with this baby a couple months ago when we were registering for "our" baby shower.  i realized that there are only 2 things that separate man and woman; besides a penis and vagina, oh and periods and baby carrying and well you know what i mean, and this is the color blue and pink.  To me, this is racist!  Once again we are judging a baby by the color of it's clothes or furuniture or toys.  I wont have that. No Sireee!!  If my baby Ava wants to wear blue then dog gone it she will.  She will start a new trend where blue is the new pink for girls.  That's whats up!!  Also, if she wants to wear the words BLUE on the ass of her pants then why shouldn't she! Its 2012 people!!. 


Butterfly Effect

There is a saying that the simple flutter of a butterfly can have an effect that can impact the entire world.  This is known as the Butterfly Effect.  Well, this is not the case for our little Ava and i will explain why. 

My wife is infatuated with butterflies.  I didn't realize this until we began registering for our daughter's shower.  They are everywhere.  I think every one of our 753 gifts has a butterfly on it; and of course pink or purple.  Why are butterflies associated with girls?   If my wife LOVED cats would we have pussies all over her room!  (*not that there is anything wrong with that. I love pussies.. cats that is)

It should actually be associated with boys and i'll explain why.  The butterfly starts off as a little caterpillar.  If a girl saw a caterpillar on her or near her, odds are she will freak out and try to kill it.  Now, a few weeks later, the caterpillar gets all nasty and turns into something from the movie The Fly.  Again, a girl wouldn't walk by this and say "WOWWW.. Its sooo beautiful."  No, instead she would run away and swat her hands in the hair as if it is on her.  Of course, the butterfly then comes out of its cocoon and it is beautiful.  

Sorry, I was rambling. Now to the butterfly effect.  Did you ever eat something that you just get tired of. You have eaten it so much that now you just hate it.  Well, thats what is going to happen to our little Ava.  Her being exposed to these butterflies is going to psychologically do something to her.  When she gets older and sees a butterfly, i am afraid that she is going to revert back to her baby years and start shitting herself and cry in a corner.  OR this happens:





My wife is to blame if this happens to our little princess.  However, this my friends, is the Butterfly Effect and i am deeply concerned.  Instead, i will put pictures of boys all over her room.  This way when she is older she will hate them and not want anything to do with them OR it will have the exact opposite effect and she will become the town whore!!!  OMG.. I hate being a dad already!

Mower

Let's face it.  Men have no say in anything when it comes to any kind of shower.  The only thing that we are good for is to drop the lucky girl off and then pick her up with the gifts.  Therefore, i will be throwing myself a man shower aka a Mower.  It will consist of a bunch of my male friends and we will get together at someones house where there are no women. We will watch Kung Fu movies, eat pizza, play poker and watch sports.  We will make a huge mess - Because apparently this is what real men are supposed to do - and then have the wives come over to pick up our trash and throw it away for us.  Now this is a Mower! 
My kind of party!!


All Serious.. 

All jokes aside.. this shit is happening!!  I am completely grateful for everything my family and peeps have gotten us. Its overwhelming. To celebrate, my wife and i are going to a Chip and Dales.  All this butterfly and pink talk has gotten me excited.  TaTa

Coming soon.. Attention is my middle name..

Baby Bart Chronicles - Trials and Tribulations of a New Father coming soon to a blog near you!


Be sure to check out my other blogs on here as well.  Much love.


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