A Christmas post.. Dbart style...

When Justin Bieber sings Christmas songs... An angel loses his wings .

Once again Christmas has came and went.  Almost as quick as the resurrection of NBC's Charlie's Angels.  This time of year is always a favorite of mine.  Not sure why but i can never get tired of hearing the same 23 Christmas songs being sung over and over by a different artist year after year. Nor the 32,678 people on the road when you just want to get milk.  Or the stress of what to get your loved one when the year before you bought her a car and a trip to Hawaii..how the fuck do you top that.??  Yes.. i was bragging..

This is SUCH an Al Bart joke.

Let's not forget the fucking god dam Salvation Army bells that you hear ringing day on and day out.  They should STOP ringing the bells if you give them money instead of continuing. They would make a shit load more.   And why was Justin Bieber everywhere this Christmas. I must quote a funny facebook post that my boy Bgrip said "When Justin Bieber sings Christmas songs... An angel loses his wings".  God dam i am jealous i didnt come up with that. Genius.  The 700 extra emails about Christmas savings and the 300 extra flyers in the mail certainly doesnt put a frown on my face but to eco-friendly people im sure it does.

Seriously..this was cute for a second

Nor the extra 45 minutes of traffic that i have to sit in everyday because 60 years ago a bunch of dumb polish, italians and irish men couldn't figure out to add an extra lane when getting on Rt 3 from Rt 46 especially during the busy holiday time.  Doesnt bother me in the least.  Or how about the extraordinary amount of Silver Alerts flashing above our heads causing people to slow down and stare at the spectacle as if Jesus has come down from the heavens slowing down traffic even more. What is it with old people and stealing the car keys and especially around Christmas time!  They are in a hurry to go and get the latest iPhone with the flyer they got in the mail?? Then of course you have the Christmas decorations that i have all over the outside of my house along with the Frosty and other things i have attached to the ground in front of it.  Then when one big gust of wind comes, down goes Frosty.

Or the light detector that is supposed to only put the lights on when it gets dark but instead decides to put them on durng the day.  I know i am polish but i didn't think my timer is either!!  Nope.. This shit don't bother me either.. nope not at all.  Nor does that 1 family member who comes to your house and doesn't help with anything at all and just sits on their ass waiting to be served.. nope no worries here.. its Christmas time .. a time for cheer. Yes i meant to rhyme there.  Or the stress of forgetting to send a Merry Christmas text message to a friend because why would we actually call that person to wish them this.  Nope.. no complaints here.  Or seeing that one uncle wearing the Christmas sweater that his Grandmother knitted for him that looks like something you should step on when walking into someone's home.  

You would think seeing the cars dressed up as reindeer would bother me too.. nope.. not at all.  Or the people walking their dogs who are dressed up as little elves.. what the shit is this.. they are dogs!  But again. no problems here.  Or the 9,453 people who need to go to Stop and Shop across the street from my home to get i-dont-know-what before Christmas.  And finally the stress of whether i am supposed to say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays!

But seriously.. i love it all.. its only 30 days of the year and it is great.  I hope everybody or the 15 people reading this had an awesome holiday or Christmas or fuck i dont know.. i just hope it was great!!!!